From Tighthead Ted on tour

Blimmin’ heck me old abacus has been getting a workout over the last three weeks.  As the Valley has been racking up cricket scores – 60, 84 and now 71,the old beads are getting worn out.  Anyway, I’m pretty sure the Kiwi cricketers getting slaughtered in Sri Lanka at the moment would be happy with some scores like that.  I reckon the heat was about the same too.  But I digress, a trip to Gisborne, a sunburn, and another cracking win – this time 71-17.

The match started with a hiss and a roar, but for Poverty Bay Weka, as they were the first to trouble the scoreboard attendants with an early try, thanks to a wayward pass from none other than the man of the moment, Brett Ranga!  This stung the Swampies and Ranga, and this potential banana skin match soon started to look a lot like the Buller match of a week ago.  A try to winger Alex Thrupp at the seven-minute mark levelled up the scores at five apiece.  Then the piano movers rolled their sleeves up and put hooker Josh Tye over from an attacking lineout to take the lead at fourteen minutes.

The flood gates then opened, the piano players started to find gaps and holes, with Fletch Morgan conducting the show, and in quick succession tries were added from Laulea Mau, Toddy Doolan, Brett Ranga, Jake O’Connor and Quinn Collard.  In a twenty-minute burst the match was put to bed.  The halftime score of 47-5 almost mirrored the 49-0 of the week previous.

The second half started like the first, with Poverty Bay dotting down for their second try of the match then holding out the visitors for the first ten minutes.  Normal transmission resumed soon after, with first Mau, then Thrupp adding to their try tallies for the match.  Scoring dried up for a while as both sides started to roll on their ‘bomb squads’, before a flurry of tries in the final ten minutes.  Poverty Bay got their third and two final tries to the Swampies, a second to Ranga and a final full stop to the match seeing Sione Etoni dot down under the posts.  In a fitting finale to his 50th, Ranga pulled out his best Bob Scott (look him up kids, a genuine legend of the game) impersonation and toe-poked a conversion to take the final score to 71-17.

Without looking at the record books, as one, ole Tighthead is a lazy bugger, and two, he doesn’t have one, this would have to be the first time that the Valley has racked up three fifty plus wins on the trot – massive effort from a team that is making history with every match at the moment – where’s me old mate Mitch, he’ll let us know.

Like last week, the fatties up front were in fine form doing the hard yards and then asking for more.  The scrum again in control throughout, and the lineout ticking over like a freshly tuned V8 at the Whangamata Beach Hop parade.  Leading the way was Brett Ranga, the veteran reveling in the tight exchanges, and hitting match fitness after an injury plagued start to the Valley season.  Two tries and a conversion, a just reward and a worthy welcome back to the field.

Loose forward and Michelin star rated chief Kenan Gillson once again utilised his cooking skills, chopping down tacklers faster than he dices carrots.  He put in a performance that puts pressure on the back room Boffins selecting the team with one match to go before the semi–finals – a home, or more likely, an away match against Whanganui (book that leave pass with the Mrs now, or even better, a romantic weekend in Whanganui looking at water towers and rugby might be just the thing you need to rekindle the romance, I know Mrs THT would be over the moon).

Platypus farmer Cam Droomgol, was employed in the bomb squad this week, along with regular starting lock Connor McVerry.  Another couple of puzzle pieces to put together for the Boffins – are they better starting as opposed to coming off the bench?  A hell of a puzzle deciding who is bomb squad and who starts, more of a WASGIJ than a regular puzzle, as you just don’t know what the picture will be until all 1000 pieces are on the table.

Regular bomb squad member Jake O’Connor started the match this week and continued his rich vein of form.  This is another huge part of the WASGIJ puzzle, as you have Charlie Marsh in devastating form, and Leroy Neels champing at the bit to get back on the field after injury.  A great problem for the Boffins, three halves that are all in great form.  Who to start, who to lead the bomb squad, and who to leave out, or do you carry all three in a match day squad?  The Boffins will certainly be earning their beer vouchers this week.

Fletcher Morgan took over the kicking this week, and with horrible cross winds did well, landing six.  Also looking more and more comfortable in the midfield roll, his big frame and pace of the mark proving hard for defenders to handle over last fortnight.  He’s setting up his outsides like a midfield veteran of ten seasons, not five games.  Alex Thrupp had another top match, busy on both sides of the ball, always dangerous with the pill, and two tries to his name after the final whistle.

Next week sees, probably, unless King Country can tip up Whanganui, the final home fixture of the season.  So, get on the bus to Whitianga as our mighty Swamp Foxes lock horns with Horowhenua Kapiti at Lyon Park, one of the best venues in the Valley.  Those Mercury Bay buggers know how to put on a show.

Poverty Bay 17 (3 tries; conversion) lost to Thames Valley 71 (A Thrupp 2, L Mau 2, B Ranga 2, J Tye, T Doolan, Q Collard, J O’Connor, S Etoni tries; F Morgan 6, T Doolan, B Ranga conversions).

With Bart not on deck in Gisborne as he’s too tight to hit the road with ole THT, these wonderful photos are from K.S Sports Media – check her out here – Katrina Smith Media (pixieset.com).  Not just for sports pics but also all those pics that you wish you’d got of the Mrs and the kids but never did,so get in there.

Disclaimer:  You guys know the drill by now – this article is not written by the TVRU or anyone employed by the TVRU.  So if you get offended by any, or all of the disjointed ramblings about a good old-fashioned game of rugby union, jog on.

Heartland Results
Buller 14 lost to Mid Canterbury 59
Horowhenua Kapiti 28 lost to Whanganui 72
King Country 32 beat North Otago 17
Poverty Bay 17 lost to Thames Valley 71
South Canterbury 32 beat East Coast 15
Wairarapa Bush 38 beat West Coast 31