Buller Burned At The Beach

Well knock me down with a feather, I certainly didn’t see that one coming. The mighty Swamp Foxes ran in twelve tries as they demolished Buller by an almost record score at Whangamata. The 84-14 win was a single score off breaking the Valley highest team score, set in 1994 against North Otago, a win that Tighthead Ted remembers fondly, 86-7. With the score sitting at 49-0 at the turnaround, it looked likely, but Buller pulled finger and actually scored the first try of the second spell, before normal transmission resumed and the Valley rattled off another five tries to go with seven in the first spell.

I was chatting with an old mate during the week (another retired low number wearer), and we were lamenting the fact that the back division seemingly hadn’t been adding much to the mix this season. Being an old front ranker, old Tighthead does focus more on the piano movers, as opposed to the piano players, but hats off to the double digit brigade this week – twelve tries to the Valley, and all twelve scored by the brylcreem boys. So well done to the double digit wearers, it looked like some of you even got your guernseys dirty this week, sliding on for tries.

With a score looking more like an opening session in a test match, pretty much every Swampy played well. While the backs took all the cherries, they were delivered plenty of good ball to work with by the low numbers, who as per usual looked more in favour of using blunt force trauma to create gaps than scalpels. The lineout was on song once again, but the Buller backroom staff had been watching the newsreels, and generally sacked the drive effectively . But with the blouses out the back hitting their straps, it wasn’t a worry. Scrum time saw more dominance as the match progressed, with all six front rowers proving themselves to be interchangeable, and the old war horse Brett Ranga back in the engine room, partnering Connor McCauley at lock, there was never going to be a lack of power in the set pieces.

Twelve tries, all converted. It was a cracking kicking effort from Quinn Collard once again, with just the one ‘gimmie’ conversion he landed seven from seven in the first spell. The Thames Valley record for conversions in a match is eight, he’d have cracked that for sure in the second spell, but took a knock to a shank, and was subbed. The five second spell tries were all under the sticks too, but Toddy Doolan with three, and Fletcher Morgan with two kept the 100% record intact. So one M.A. Handley, and one G.A. Ellis will remain in the record books, for another week at least.

So the players – Tighthead’s typing finger is going to get tired, as so many Swampies played well. So starting at nine, where Charlie Marsh came in late after Leroy Neels pulled out of the starting XV with a back problem. Three tries for his efforts, although two came in the second half after he’d moved out to the wing – the second taking a cross kick from his replacement at halfback Jake O’Connor. O’Connor also raced in for two five pointers in true halfback style, taking inside passes after tracking play. Both halfbacks were sharp, and certainly will be forcing the boffins wearing the selectors hats to make some hard decisions in the coming weeks.

The new midfield seemed to gel nicely, Fletcher Morgan, this week at second five, was once again the everywhere man, tidying, creating, kicking, and combining well with newby Rodney Tongotea. Tongotea ran direct lines at centre, was tough on defence, and dotted down for a double in the match. This pair worked well together, and hopefully will get another chance next week, they can only get better in combination, and they weren’t half bad this week! Two tries for his efforts for Tongotea. Interesting side note, Morgan was the only back not to snare a five pointer – but probably had a hand in at least half the Valley five pointers.

Sione Etoni, shifting to the wing from second five last week, had a boomer of a game too. The big guy was throwing his weight around this week, and was another to get a brace of tries. It was not just his work with ball in hand to impress though, his defence was accurate, and brutal, and he worked hard to get back on defence, one of his better all round games in the Valley colours.

The low numbers, the blokes that Tighthead usually notices. Well, it was business as usual for the fatties. Heads down, bums up, doing the business, and getting the reward of looking up from the scrum or breakdown, and seeing the back division cutting capers and scoring tries for their efforts. No better feeling than dragging your hairy arse off the ground from a breakdown and seeing play forty yards up the field, as opposed to having to trudge back forty!

Te Huia Kutia at prop, Connor McVerry at lock, flanker Cam Dromgool were the pick of a good bunch. Dromgool is having a hell of a season, emptying the tank week in and week out. McVerry the same, he’s churning out the minutes, tirelessly carting the ball forward into contact, and revelling in the close in defence. Kutia leading the bomb squad at the moment, the Swampies taking a leaf out of the Bok book and rolling on half a new forward pack in one hit each week.

So happy days for the Swampies, and their supporters, all the pieces of the jigsaw seem to be coming together – defence, offence, set pieces, this week all the pieces fit together seamlessly, and Buller paid the price. Next week an away game against Poverty Bay – always good to have a roady.

Mention MUST be made of the curtain raiser. The Thames Valley Silver Foxes beat the Waikato Legends in a veterans game, 21-10. It was a genuine George Clooney fest on the field, more gray hair on display than you’d find at your average old folks home. That is if there was any hair on the noggin at all. You almost wouldn’t have known it was a veterans game, as the intensity and skills were top notch, just the pace was lacking. The Silver Foxes are a great concept, hopefully more games next season. Even ole Tighthead Ted is tempted to dig out the O’Briens square toes and white laces are always in style. Might have to nail in some new sprigs though, and break out the dubbin.

Disclaimer: You know the drill by now readers (both of you), the views expressed here of those of Tighthead Ted, and in on way reflect the thoughts of the TVRU or the employees of. So If you’re offended, Ted’s work here is done. No, but seriously, if anything here offends you, your skin must be so thin it’s transparent, so I’d recommend sunscreen if you’re outdoors, probably 50+.

Thames Valley 84 (Q Collard, S Etoni 2, A Thrupp, C Marsh 3, R Tongotea 2, J O’Connor 2, T Doolan tries; Collard 7, Doolan 3, F Morgan 2 conversions) beat Buller 14 (2 tries; 2 conversions).

Heartland Results
West Coast 37 beat East Coast 19
North Otago 21 lost to Mid Canterbury 28
Poverty Bay 15 lost to King Country 49
Whanganui 56 beat Wairarapa Bush 17

Sunday: Horowhenua Kapiti 24 lost to 28 South Canterbury @ Eden Park

Disclaimer: The opinions of your despondent correspondent Tighthead Ted are, as usual, his and his alone. They are in no way the views and opinions of the TVRU. Especially when THT delves into the murky ground of not criticising the match officials for not knowing enough about the dark arts of the front rows and rewarding good play. So any complaints, don’t rattle the cage of the union, as they’re so behind on correspondence they’re still answering congratulation letters from the 1962 win over Australia (incidentally, a 16-14 scoreline also), so you’ll get a reply in about 2080.